Step 8: “Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.”
I do not know where I would be without Post-It notes. They are stuck to everything- my planner, computer, fridge and countertops. I have magnetic and decorated ones, and have even discovered the magic of the Sticky Note App! These little gems keep me on track, remind me of important tasks, and help me remember names, phone numbers, and appointments. My lists may not be organized, but at least I have LISTS ! STEP 8 of the 12 STEPS provides those in recovery an opportunity to create a life changing list- a list of people that have been harmed from our past actions.
Step 8 requires only a willingness to begin to rectify previous wrongs. No communication with specific people is required to complete the 8thStep; this will come later. Taking an honest look at the past from a new perspective, which is done in both sobriety and recovery, will provide insight into people who have fallen victim to our negative behaviors. We are honest with ourselves about the “WHOs” and “WHYs,” and contemplate if we are ready, willing, or able to make amends . Carefully considering when amends could be made how they could be made the safety of making said amends is vital.
Many feelings can arise from even thinking about approaching people we have harmed, including fear, embarrassment, or pride. At first, we make may make excuses or justify our past actions, and it is only through our growth in recovery that we see that no matter what others have done to us, it is our choice how we respond, and to take responsibility for what we have done to others. This step is not for others- it is for ourselves.
Step 8 will grant us the ability to pursue our own freedom: freedom from guilt, shame, and past mistakes. It will provide the freedom to move foreward, leave the past where it belongs, and allow every step we take to guide us to our bright future in recovery, and...
It all begins with making a list.
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